A January Round Up & Other Things.

Before we get started this is going to be a low key woe is me, feeling sorry for myself kinda post so if thats not for you, bye for now. It's also going to be a bit of a brain spill, word vomit/might not actually make any sense in places, so sorry in advance. 

The last couple of months have been hard and to be honest, I'm exhausted. I've been ill for well over a month now, with what I first thought was a cold but is probably a sinus infection. I should probably go to the doctors but unfortunately anxiety is a thing and it makes it hard. I have however made various promises to different people that if by the end of the week I'm not better I'll go...maybe. Next up on the January was meh, I need a break from life list is work. Over the past couple of months I've had to deal with a lot of changes at work all at once and to say it was rocky at first is to say the least. Working a certain way for years and then having it changed pretty much overnight is really hard to deal with. Especially when you already hate change and find it hard to deal with. It's like someone coming into your house whilst you're sleeping and moving everything round, telling you that you can no longer keep your glasses in the cupboard, you have to keep them in the fridge from now on. It doesn't make sense to you, it's uncomfortable and extremely frustrating. I spent many evenings getting home from work and just sobbing because it was shit. Things are slightly better now but more changes are on the horizon and I don't know how many more I can take. 

Which brings me onto today, my first day of two weeks off from work as I had holiday that I needed to take and it could not have come at a better time. I'm so so excited for these two weeks, I can rest, read, do things at my own pace and hopefully get the ball rolling on creating more content. I have so many ideas but just haven't found the motivation to actually get them done, I even have a couple of posts up and ready to go but for whatever reason haven't managed to publish them. Self doubt is a shit and I'm really really bad at constantly comparing myself to others, meaning I always put other peoples thoughts before my own.  It's bullshit and deep down I know that, but it still doesn't stop my brain from going 'what if they don't like it' or 'what if no one reads it'. Who the hell is 'they' and there will always be someone who reads what you've got to say. If you're reading this, thank you. 

Basically to wrap up what's taken a turn that I didn't expect, I'm going to *try* and care less about what other people think. It's scary but I've spent far too much time and effort creating things I enjoy not to share them, just because my brain has made up a person who might not like what I've written or might unfollow me for whatever reason. I need to stop seeking approval from other people based on whether or not they've decided to follow me. This online world can be toxic, it can really suck you in, get you down and you can really lose sight of what's actually important, yourself and the content you're making. It got to me for a bit, it really did, and it probably will again but followers and likes don't suddenly make me or my opinions any more valid and that's something I need to learn. After this random shit show of a post (oh hello btw I swear a lot in real life so I've decided to purposely not filter myself online anymore.) I'm going to finish it off with a couple of my favourite things from Jan. 

Song of the month: London- Sarah Close 
TV show of the month: Criminal Minds, we've just started season 13 and I'm loving it more and more.
Film of the month: Grown Ups 2, despite not ever watching the first one I watched the second and really enjoyed it. 
Food of the month: Any and all the meals I've had from Hello Fresh, they wildly exceeded all my expectations. If you want to give it a try you can get £20 off your first box if you use the code ANNAEL3, and if you want to find out more about the service check out my post HERE.

Thank's for reading this word vomit, I'll be back soon with actual real content I swear! - Anna x 


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